This week in crypto news: Bitcoin briefly neared $ 10K, while altcoins also gained bullish momentum, while BTC was still rapidly exiting exchanges, and Bitcoin-Ethereum bridge, tBTC, fell asleep two days after launch. As the threat of inflation threatens, investors are turning to gold, and perhaps BTC, BitPay reported processing 10% more volume, the BitMEX trading engine failed, and BlockFi suffered a data breach. Facebook’s Libra competitor Celo says the mainnet went live, while Visa admitted it is open to the idea of returning to the Libra project. The Trezor team makes a fully transparent BTC wallet chip and Blockchain.com aims to reach 1 billion wallets by 2030. Bitcoin Pizza Day was on Friday – watch how BTC changed in ten years.
With stricter rules for exchanges, darknet switched to BTC mixers. In addition, a statement in Japan suggests that exchanges do not legally need to transfer hard fork-generated cryptoassets, a new Russian law could hit illegal crypto traders with seven-year prison terms, China’s digital yuan is likely to be interoperable with WeChat Pay and AliPay, Binance re-enters China through the ‘blockchain, not crypto’ door, the Brazilian financial watchdog reopens the investigation into banks cutting off crypto exchanges, and the South Korean central bank has stepped up its CBDC work in response to the pandemic. We looked at personalized tokens, 5 historical post-halving BTC price predictions, 4 examples of powers that advocate BTC and BTC versus modern monetary theory. Finally, Vitalik and Justin argued over Steem, JK Rowling continued to stir the Cryptoverse jar, and lawyers claim that Craig Wright has the keys to encrypt the BTC 820,200 file.
With the news section ready, the joke section begins. To enjoy!
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Hey, CT? What valuable discussions did you lead this week?
Predict my feed today:
Bulls: This is just a minor retracement, that was your LAST chance (142nd time actually) to buy below 10k. Bears need to be exterminated for the strong to survive.
Bears: haha, get stretched idiots, see you all at 3k! $ BTC is a ponzi and you deserve poverty!
– Devchart (@devchart) May 18, 2020
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Hmmm, no.
Status: from r / Bitcoin
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Eeeeh, no.
BTC holders look like … pic.twitter.com/72rffLqdhN
– Jamie xrP (@DeoxyRib) May 19, 2020
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“Not in the long run,” the doctor replied as a wise man with a white beard. “There is no life in the way.” And the patient was confused.
Doctor, please! I need to know … am I going to make it ?! from r / Bitcoin
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CT insists! They will explain things!
Explain this to J.K. Rowling https://t.co/B6dZ27PFJi
– Federico Tenga (@FedericoTenga) May 17, 2020
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Here’s an explanation.
Crypto twitter is trying to explain bitcoin @JK Rowlingpic.twitter.com/yHde3Fr8tG
– Hailey Lennon (@HaileyLennonBTC) May 22, 2020
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And here’s the result.
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That’s how it all starts.
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And this is what has happened in about a week since it all started.
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Institutions waiting for a sign to enter crypto.
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So you put this round, chubby thing on a finger first, right?
When shitcoiners try to teach money principles to a bitcoiner.#Bitcoin #BTC pic.twitter.com/ZcKPTKSP03
– Bitcoin meme vids! (@Bitcoin_vids) May 7, 2020
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The confusion: “My thoughts after reading some messages on r / Bitcoin.”
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This really scares the living shitcoin for me.
Yeah boy let’s do it! pic.twitter.com/S8v4uUmr8n
– Panama (@Panama_TJ) April 30, 2020
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Explain BTC to your grandparents. They did not understand a word of you, but are still proud of you.
My grandma and grandpa when I try to explain Bitcoin. pic.twitter.com/RyjYmc9yTj
– Brady (@Bmgentile) May 4, 2020
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Find someone you don’t need to explain BTC to.
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“Please continue, you are disturbing our customers.”
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4D chess: 1) Use a parody Twitter account to pretend you’re Adam Back; 2) Admit that you are Satoshi Nakamoto.
Welcome to crypto, Satoshi! Grab one @coinbase account when you’re ready to use (not just hold) that Bitcoin, and head over to one of the many other cryptos out there!
– Paolo’s replenished sock (@ DrHOSP1) May 18, 2020
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The eternal quest for Satoshi.
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Remember the time you screwed up my joke and had no idea, Justin? Who is laughing now?
probably this. pic.twitter.com/WIrrGAJQX7
– wolfofethereum.eth🐬 (@LUKACACIC) May 16, 2020
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Brrrrycling.
